Thursday, February 7, 2008
Monday, February 4, 2008
Grandma Prostitute
A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but little old Grandma. The young girl was frantic. Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, "What are you lining up for, dear?" Not willing to let grandma in on her little secret, the young girl told her that some people were passing out free oranges and that she was lining up for some.
"Mmm, sounds lovely," said Grandma. "I think I'll have some myself," she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, at the end of the line, he was bewildered. "But you're so old... how do you do it?" Grandma replied, "Oh, it's quite easy, sonny... I just remove my dentures and suck 'em dry!"
"Mmm, sounds lovely," said Grandma. "I think I'll have some myself," she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, at the end of the line, he was bewildered. "But you're so old... how do you do it?" Grandma replied, "Oh, it's quite easy, sonny... I just remove my dentures and suck 'em dry!"
McDonald Balls
A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the results. On his way home, he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving, he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35," was the reply. "I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy. After that, he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks the clerk the same question. The reply is, "Oh, you look about 29"."I am actually 47." Later, while standing at a bus stop, he asks an old woman the same question.
She replies, "I am 85 years old, and my eyesight is going. But when I was young, there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your balls for 10 minutes, I will be able to tell you your exact age." As there was no one around, the man thinks, What the hell and lets her slip her hand down his pants. Ten minutes later, the old lady says, "Okay, it's done. You are 47." Stunned, the man says, "That was brilliant. How did you do that?" The old lady replies, "I was behind you at McDonalds."
"About 35," was the reply. "I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy. After that, he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks the clerk the same question. The reply is, "Oh, you look about 29"."I am actually 47." Later, while standing at a bus stop, he asks an old woman the same question.
She replies, "I am 85 years old, and my eyesight is going. But when I was young, there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your balls for 10 minutes, I will be able to tell you your exact age." As there was no one around, the man thinks, What the hell and lets her slip her hand down his pants. Ten minutes later, the old lady says, "Okay, it's done. You are 47." Stunned, the man says, "That was brilliant. How did you do that?" The old lady replies, "I was behind you at McDonalds."
F In Sex
A little girl and her mother were out and about. Out of the blue, the girl asked her mother, "Mommy, How old are you?" The mother responded, "Honey, women don't talk about their age. You'll learn this as you get older." The girl then asked, "Mommy, how much do you weigh?"Her mother responded again, "That's another thing women don't talk about. You'll learn this, too, as you grow up." The girl, still wanting to know about her mother, then fired off another question, "Mommy, why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"
The mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, "Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I don't want to talk about it now."The little girl, frustrated, sulked until she was dropped off at a friend's house to play. She consulted with her girlfriend about her and her mother's conversation.The girlfriend said, "All you have to do is sneak a look at your mother's driver's license. It's just a like a report card from school. It tells you everything."
Later, the little girl and her mother were out and about again.The little girl started off with, "Mommy, Mommy, I know how old you are. I know how old you are. You're 32 years old."The mother was very shocked. She asked, "Sweetheart, how do you know that?"
The little girl shrugged and said, "I just know. And I know how much you weigh. You weigh 130 pounds.""Where did you learn that?"The little girl said, "I just know. And I know why you and Daddy got a divorce. You got an 'F' in sex."
The mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, "Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I don't want to talk about it now."The little girl, frustrated, sulked until she was dropped off at a friend's house to play. She consulted with her girlfriend about her and her mother's conversation.The girlfriend said, "All you have to do is sneak a look at your mother's driver's license. It's just a like a report card from school. It tells you everything."
Later, the little girl and her mother were out and about again.The little girl started off with, "Mommy, Mommy, I know how old you are. I know how old you are. You're 32 years old."The mother was very shocked. She asked, "Sweetheart, how do you know that?"
The little girl shrugged and said, "I just know. And I know how much you weigh. You weigh 130 pounds.""Where did you learn that?"The little girl said, "I just know. And I know why you and Daddy got a divorce. You got an 'F' in sex."
Sunday, February 3, 2008
South Park
Remember the good old days when you and your friends or family just sit on the couch with a beer, while watching the best damn cartoon in America, thats right South Park.
The very first popular line. Mom kitty's being a dilldow, and You will respect my authority. 11 great seasons and there still here and now season 12 god bless america.
The very first popular line. Mom kitty's being a dilldow, and You will respect my authority. 11 great seasons and there still here and now season 12 god bless america.
That Britney
Britney Spears people love you espicaly that Chris crocker, but I am sure White America has had enough with your Fuking Bull shit. Shaving ur head, flashing your big tits and wide opened vagina, and your infamouse Gimme more performance, going to the hospital many times, and your visit by that gay Dr. Phil I think we just need to say is:
We Had enough BITCH, so Gimme Gimme Less, Gimme Less Gimme Gimme Less.
We Had enough BITCH, so Gimme Gimme Less, Gimme Less Gimme Gimme Less.
Super Bowl
The Super Bowl. It's a wonderful day for people, definantly the dumb asses who think it's a holiday. Patriots vs The Giants. All I have to say is Patriots are gonna get there fony ass's kicked by The Giants. I am not a realy big fan of super bowl but I know that Patriots have been in enough and I think they shoud lose this time screw them in there tiny ass hole, I think who ever like patriots should die and who ever like the giants should be fucked by the hottest girls such as: carmen Electre, Kim Kardashian, Fergie and a girl I Know Charlie. So go GIANTS!!!
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